God and Great Danes

Another few days of emotional roller coasters, seems to be my new norm these days. Two nights ago was one of the darkest I have had since I got diagnosed. I wrote out this big long blog, complaining basically. By the end of it, I was reading the book of Job and felt really silly for complaining. Hence the fact that it isn't posted. I had reached a breaking point and basically said God - I'm done, I can't do this anymore. He heard my cry, as He always does. He gave me much needed rest, in the comfort of His words, His truth, His gifts and His people.

Woke up yesterday, after only a few hours sleep, again, my new normal thanks to insomnia. The day was just - different. Filled with good news, I was I high on life and seeing how God makes a way and takes the reigns when I need Him to. Got some things accomplished, spent time with some friends, led a normal day and ended on a high note - I SLEPT! At night, like normal people do. In the arms of the most amazing man I have ever met, I rested - body, mind and soul.

So where do the Danes fit in? See - I know without a doubt that my Danes are a gift to me. It may seem silly, but my dogs bring me such a pure, innocent joy and comfort, only God could know I needed that breed and send me the perfect doggies! Great Danes have this thing they do - they LEAN. They are a needy dog, humans are more than just a food source to a Dane - humans are their world. When they need contact or to connect, they walk over and lean on you. It is hard to ignore a well over 100 pound dog leaning on you. When they lean on me, it makes me stop, if only for a moment and enjoy that feeling. I lean back and somehow I thought of how I needed to do some leaning of my own the other night. Leaning on the only one who can make things right, the only one who really matters - my Lord! So - two nights ago, I was a Great Dane - leaning hard on Jesus and you know what? He leans back, harder than I can and it feels good.

God is good, all the time. When I don't see Him - he's there, waiting for me to look harder, teaching me daily how to lean on Him.