And it's done

This puffy picture of me laying on my side is just sad. My eyes are OPEN believe it or not. This was taken sometime during the day on Friday, before we left for the regular room. The picture with the matted mess of hair showing my scar was not long after surgery. Not sure what the gunk was but it was caked in my hair! Gross!! The first pic is with Staci - you can see how swollen I sill am, when my youngest daughter (7) saw it she asked where Mama was :-(

I am hoping to get Dave to guest blog his version of the story since I am missing a bunch of information. I can't even tell you the actual first thing I remember. I know I was in ICU, I know I was in the worst pain of my life and that my eyes were swollen shut. I had this granny turban looking bandage on my head and that made the swollen eye thing worse. It was tight and pushed my forehead down into my eyes, you know the ones that can't see as it is from being so swollen. I was told that my face was swollen from being on my belly for so long during surgery. The fluid decided to pool into my face. All I know is I couldn't even open my eyes and my left eye hurt so bad! It stung, light made it worse and was constantly tearing up. Of course every resident at U of M had to look at, with their silly little light pens. GRRR!! They said I had a corneal abrasion and ordered meds for 2 PM, this was early in the morning - why the wait is beyond me.

The pain in my head was not something that can easily be described. It was like I had two levels of pain. The outside pain I knew and understood - my poor neck muscles being stretched and manipulated while the Doc did his thing, the other pain - well, it made me wish I was dead honestly. It felt like glass was being ground into my brain and no matter how many meds they gave me, it wouldn't leave. The hours past by like minutes as I waited for my next dose of useless meds. Poor Dave tried to help but there was nothing he could do. This continued throughout the first night. My nurse Steve was so sweet. Not the brightest bulb on the planet but sweet as can be.

Morning came and I was starting to get pissed. Yes I get that I should be hurting after brain surgery but this was becoming too much. I cried, I snapped, I was mean to the nurse and my poor husband. He left to make calls and get food (or so he said, I don't think he actually ever ate) and it was like a light switched. The glass grinding pain was gone. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the Docs were giving me Vicodin for pain. SERIOUSLY? I take stronger meds than that daily for my back and somehow they thought Vicodin would help after they cut my head open. Well, my meds were with me and honestly - I took them. When you live with chronic pain for 3 plus years, you know what meds work and which ones don't. And this lady knew the Vicodin wasn't gonna cut it. They brought me my breakfast, a tiny omelet that was child sized but it was the first food I had eaten in over 24 hours.

The nurse that replaced Steve was not as sweet. We had words more than a few times which I honestly think helped the next step of my recovery. He came in and told me it was time for a regular room. I was ready to leave ICU! The catheter came out and off I went to a new room, after I went to the bathroom of course :-)

Within minutes of getting there, I had the arterial line and the IV in my foot out - YAY! They left the IV in my left hand in but the bag was gone. We decided to go get somewhat real food from the cafeteria since I had not picked my lunch and who knows what was coming. The room itself was super nice. Somehow I got a private room, my own bathroom and even a shower. A nice chair for Dave to sleep in and all. I still wanted to feel as normal as possible.

So, I put my PJ's I brought with me on, after I washed up as best as I could in the bathroom and my trusty hoodie and off we went. We explored a tad and had lunch. It felt good to feel human but I paid for it with pain when I got back.

Dr. Sullivan finally made his rounds, up until this point it was his residents. He told me everything went well and he has never seen anyone need more drugs to knock them out like me. Finally some validation that what I have been saying all along is true, normal meds don't work on me. Good to know for future reference. He also said I could go home the next day.

A few hours later another resident came and I half jokingly said can I go home now since I'm eating, walking and on only oral meds and she said she would ask but didn't see why not. While waiting for my answer, this amazing new friend I "met" on facebook called and asked if she could come see me. She found me through a Chiari facebook page and we have spoke online the last few weeks. It doesn't get any better than someone who understands what you are going through! Staci came bearing gifts and even tried to brush my nappy hair. She is a blessing I thank God for!

More on the return home part later, I get tired very easy.