In the still of the night....

In the still of the night I hear the wolf howl honey, sniffing around your door. In the still of the night I hear my beat heavy.....

Can you tell I am a child of the 80's? Whitesnake was not talking about fear in this song at all but when I woke up from my nightmare, that was what I heard. I know fear is the work of the devil, maybe that is why I heard that song. The wolf that is the devil tries to steal whatever he can and tonight, he stole my peace.

I am scared. My heart is beating fast and I am thinking I don't want this surgery. I have to, I know this. I just don't want the pain. Maybe I am just being a wimp but I don't want it :-(

During the day I handle it well. I keep busy, I make smart ass jokes and all is well. Everyone keeps telling me how strong I am but they don't see me in the still of the night. They don't see the nightmares, the fear and the trembling. I still have 10 days before surgery and I just hope I can make it through.