Staples are out!

The long awaited staple removal day has come and gone. Tuesday was an eventful morning to say the least as we headed out the door. Dave has a bad knee, an old injury he has yet to deal with and he slipped and fell in the shower. Full blown crashing down in the tub fell as we were trying to leave to head to U of M. Got that crisis solved only to head out the door and me getting sick. I was having hot and cold flashes and we stopped for lunch. I have this bad habit of not eating enough and not even knowing it. Dave is a smart guy and assumed eating would help. It did, I felt better and we had an enjoyable ride to the Docs.

Staples came out easily. MUCH easier than I remember the staples from my last C-Section. Only three hurt when the PA took them out, not bad at all. I was excited to see what my head looked like minus the metal so I had Dave take a pic with his phone - BAD idea! YUCK!!! But - at least they are out!

Yesterday and the day before were rough days. Sore and stiff all day. I assumed I had just done too much on Tuesday, being up ALL day without resting my poor neck. By last night I was frustrated and needing relief and hoping today would be different. Haven't been up long but it's not looking good so far.

I am complaining and I know I have no right. My recovery has been so smooth but I am TIRED OF THIS ALREADY! I wanted to have one thing on my to-do list daily, that's it, so I have some sense of accomplishment. Yesterday was ,making dinner. The real kind, not frozen stuff you pop in the oven and call it good. So I made beef soup. Who knew how many muscles in your neck it took to cut up meat? I do now :-( Dinner was good, everyone was happy but it bothers me that such a simple task was so hard for me.

Maybe I ave a superwman complex I need to let go? I assumed that since I was home the next day and am doing so much better than expected, I would be actually doing more than expected. Maybe this isn't the case. I thought resting would make it better, it gave me hope for today and yet I woke up worse than yesterday.

I hate to complain to Dave. He worries, it's his job he says. Knowing I have to go through another major surgery in just months, how do I tell him how bad I really feel and expect him to be OK with me doing this again? What good is two depressed people? One of us needs to have hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I guess I feel like it's my job to provide that light.

I know God has a plan in this. I really do. Some days, it is just harder to trust that plan. Today is one of those days I guess....