All in HIS time

I have learned that I cannot control my life. You would think that I would have learned that well before the age of almost 39 but sadly, I think I finally have it figured out. If we heal, when we heal and how we heal, is in God's hands as far as timing, not ours. See I have always been independent, strong willed and self sufficient. Leaning on or depending on anyone was something I had given up on long ago. It never worked, so I trusted my own actions to get me where I needed to be. Silly human.

Reading my Bible the other morning and I stumble upon this verse - 1 Peter 5:10 says "And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal Glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." That was a hard pill to swallow, even for someone who swallows a ton of pills daily. I had to learn something during my pain and it was to lean hard on the only one who can change me. Yes, submission to Him even is still a struggle. I may have come a long way but I am nowhere near where I need to be.

If I had only trusted. I tried and I guess for the most part I did. All along I have known that this path was a God thing. My diagnosis was a fluke, I ended up with the Doc I didn't want myself and so many other things that just don't add up in the human world have proven to me that God is steering this ship. If God is steering - why did I fear? I am human and weak. The spirit was willing but the flesh was weak. Now that the flesh feels better, the spirit can see what was in the works.

Praise God He is in control and I am not! I have no clue what I am doing here. I fumble daily and without His Grace - well, I'd be lost. This morning I am singing a love song to my Savior.....