The devil can kiss my ass!

To say that yesterday was a roller coaster day would be putting it mildly. The ups and downs of life can wear ya out if you don't have hope! I struggled all day to stay positive and had a grip on it despite some situations that happened that could have easily taken my hope. By the end of the night, I was just ready for bed. Getting ready to get in the shower and my husband tells me a story. A conversation between him and Eric - my 18 YO. Well, if you knew either of them you'd know they are interesting characters to say the least and I was cracking up. I haven't laughed so hard in a LONG time. Good for the soul right? Well, until I felt my head explode. OK not literally but that's what a Chiari headache feels like and I was now having my first one since my surgery. My vision was altered in the shower it hurt so bad. So here I am, back is hurting so bad I can barely move, head pounding and hope leaving. My first thought is - OMG - the surgery didn't work and I am doomed to have these headaches forever.

How quickly I forgot the good. How fast the fact that EVERY symptom is gone escaped my memory and all I focused on was this one headache. Luckily, Dave was the voice of reason. He reminded me I have a Dura patch, one who hasn't had to stretch a ton since laughter hasn't been happening. He assured me this was different. I tried to believe him but I could feel all the hope drain right out of me. When I laid in bed, I could literally feel the hope draining. I asked him to put some praise music on and as I focused on God - the pain just left. Dave was right, this was different. This wasn't a Chiari headache, they never left that fast - they lasted days not minutes.

The whole point in this is a reminder of where your focus is. My focus was shifted so easily. Knowing that God does have a plan and I have seen Him working on me and in me left me all too easily. So, I told the devil he can kiss my ass. He can't have my hope. My hope is in Christ who is bigger than any negative crap the devil can throw at me.

Today's plan is - well, I don't have one yet. I am still trying to gather my thoughts. I am still amazed at how easily a silly human forgets and how gently God reminds us, if we only listen.